Unable to accept compliments, always deflecting them to a negative connotation. Fear of rejection leads to avoiding contact with peers. When they are interacting with people they will seek approval for even the slightest task. A person who has a low level of esteem sometimes does something for someone expecting instant positive feedback and when it isn’t forthcoming they comdem their actions and the person. They tend to act out seeking to draw attention to themselves however it becomes the wrong kind of attention. Low Self Worth thinking people feel like they are constantly being judged in a negative fashion by those around them. Thinking their co-workers or boss is out to get them and are conspiring about them in the back room.
The reality is that if you have a lack of confidence and feel all of these states and more the people you work with and your boss really don’t care and in most cases don’t have the time to even consider conspiring against you because you have already put yourself in a hole just by the way you think. If you walk around paranoid then go ahead because your too much of a head case for anyone to bother with. You will eventually be let go because of your poor attitude and lack of social skills with your co-workers which will somehow reinforce your delusion that they were after you anyway. Sound familiar. When you have low self esteem you avoid taking on responsibility and often shy away from helping others fearing your input won’t be good enough. Often the way the person in need is approached can be the cause of rejection. If they are jumped on by someone who wants to show them how much they know or perhaps take over then of course you will be rebuffed which again adds to your negative outlook. If your approach is more subtle like “can I offer any assistance” or “is there anything I can do” may get a response or a delayed one in which they accept. This is something that can help build self esteem.
Having a high level of self worth means you expect good things and positive responses from those around you. If the responses are always good your outlook doesn’t change. Low self esteem puts you into a state of constant judgment whereby you feel that everyone is always judging you in negative way and you are always judging others to see their faults which then becomes a focal point. Positive self esteem allows you to be in a state of acceptance of your own faults and of those around you. You pass a friend or someone you know and see “Hello” to which there is no response so on the low end you feel rejected and think your not going to speak to that person again thereby you have passed judgment on them. On the positive end and thinking from the other persons perspective you they may have been deep in thought so although their eyes were open they did not see what was going on around them and simply didn’t see you to respond. Many times people have said they spoke right to the person and they did get an answer back so from the person being spoken to they will admit that “I did not hear you” These are situations that can affect us in a negative fashion because we choose to judge them. When we stop judging everything around us then we open the door to increased self esteem and confidence.
Someone who is extremely confident who always expects the best can be a little hard to swallow some days. The truth is that their belief is so strong and things do work out for them that we feel jealous and look for them to fail. We should embrace them and bathe in their energy because the more we move up the scale of from low to high self esteem the more we want to become that extremely confident person. Extreme confidence can be perceived as arrogant or conceited. If your state has moved that far along the scale then it’s not Self Esteem that has moved up but your ego has taken over and that’s another issue.
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